Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
