he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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