so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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