At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I have post one night stand depression
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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