I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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