found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
