Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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