So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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