I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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