she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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