I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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