I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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