So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
