She said her name was "party"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
