so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
