I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Drunk is not a location!
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