Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
bring money and cleavage
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
