I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
should my penis look like a turkey
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
