So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
