why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
