You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
