I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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