my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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