The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I deserve this hangover.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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