Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
