I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize