I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
