i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
