Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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