I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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