..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
