Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
