Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
