i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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