last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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