Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
operation have a gay friend backfired
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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