Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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