Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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