This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
