her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
