What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
