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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT

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• (925): View more from California

  First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me they were just razor bumps!

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no pressure.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl

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