8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
