She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
