He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She bit a glass in half.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
