I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
