i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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