Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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