She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
