Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
