Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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