Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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