I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
