I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
