I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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