I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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