I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
