This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
