I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
