sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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