He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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