I feel great
I just peed on a car
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
