Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
