your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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