OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I love you. Go after that dick
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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