you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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